4. Alienate others. Ask questions but don't listen to the answers. Become absorbed in your own petty, inner little world. If someone says something to you always respond with 'what?' as you come out of your inner depressing depressing fantasies momentarily. Act rude and insensitively, and then blame the consequences on other people or better yet, take it as evidence of your own lack of worth. Or both! Randomly cross clearly drawn personal boundaries, then beat yourself up for doing so. Then, beat yourself up for beating yourself up. And then, beat yourself up for that. Lose your temper unpredictably, or weep uncontrollably in order to manipulate others. Hate yourself for doing this.

5. Sleep all the time. Get a good 20 hours a day of sleep so that you simply will not have to deal with a painful life, and only have to deal with the world of dreams and fantasies. Remember, your bed is your friend, and will always sustain and comfort you, unlike the cruel outside world. Do not change your sheets for as long as you can, or better yet, don't use them. Wake up every morning, face in a puddle of drool, and think 'Oh no, more of this shit?' as your first thought of the day.

6. Avoid all physical activity. Lack of physical exercise is essential. Again, staying in bed is good for this. Try to stay on your back at all times. Lying on the floor is acceptable. Get a good fetal position going. Whine pathetically to yourself. Watch more violent television programming. Keep the TV remote control by the bed at all times, so you won't have to get up and look for it. Spend hours not moving. Fantasize about being a disembodied head with no body to maintain. Creep yourself out and then chastise yourself for being creepy. Think of yourself as a creep. Listen to Radiohead. Again.

Entire text is here:

http://www.nationalcynical.com/thoughtconduit/news?id=557