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Guide to Being Depressed and Miserable v2​.​3

from Identity Crisis by NCN

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Part 3 of the second version of this piece. Music in the background is from The Social Network soundtrack by Trent Reznor.

If you get the download of this program you get the video of this entire piece in .avi format.

You can view it at youtube here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=98kMS_ovQyc

lyrics

7. Eat poorly. In a 24 hour period, eat only a half spoonful of peanut butter, some jelly, and some water. Spend the rest of the time sleeping. Eat all your meals at fast food places, ordering the unhealthiest, most caloric thing on the menu. Eat hot dogs from 7-11 for all your meals. Avoid salads. Drink as little water as possible, it will only cause you to have to get out of bed to urinate. Starch, fat, sugar, and salt are your friends.

8. Whenever possible, cultivate a sense of fear in your life. Be sure to obsessively imagine the most violent and disturbing outcome to any situation you imagine, or find yourself in. Routinely imagine escape routes in case an armed maniac starts shooting at you. Freak yourself out! Contact all your friends and tell them you are freaking out, and then feel guilty, and unworthy of the concerned attention they give you. Be hard on yourself! And encourage others to be hard as well.

9. Think about death a lot. Rent 'Faces of Death' videos and watch the most crazy-making movies and television programming you can find. Browse rotten.com. Watch more violent television programming. Try to look at life as a violent and painful experience at the end of which is just a meaningless and probably excruciatingly painful death. Make up deals with God, if He will only let you sleep away softly into oblivion in your sleep. Talk about suicide and disturbing things in order to alienate others. Wear black and only go out at night.

10. Always pick the hardest way to do something. Set yourself up for failure. Pursue perfection and never allow yourself to be satisfied by anything. Accept no responsibility or accept all of it. If it looks like you are going to actually succeed at something, be sure to somehow sabotage your own efforts and change course or stop at the last minute. Use your inevitable failure as further proof to yourself that you are a worthless loser. Repeat the words "I'm so stupid" to yourself over and over and over while banging your forehead against your unvacuumed carpet.

11. Lose all sense of personal hygiene. Don't bathe until a gray cheese-like substance forms on your skin. Shave once a week, and then only without using shaving cream or aftershave. Throw your deodorant away. Remember, if you make yourself physically attractive, it will only attract people who will then see what a horrible person you are. Use other people's avoidance of you as evidence of your own worthlessness. Make yourself afraid that other people will be able to tell that you're paranoid. Avoid eye contact with others. Be creepy.

12. Concentrate on your faults. Look in the mirror closely. Focus on every bump, zit, wrinkle, splotch, mole, or nick that you have on your face. Look at how skinny you are, or how fat, or how average. If anything is less than perfect, be sure to focus all your attention on it, and think about it constantly. Think obsessively about all your imperfections, and every stupid thing you do or have ever done. Enlist the help of others, and then feel unworthy of it. Drive yourself into a nervous breakdown again and again.

13. Quit your job, stay home and jack off. Masturbate obsessively as a momentary reprieve from your own inner hell, and feel guilty for doing so. Be sure to think all manner disturbing thoughts and then use this as proof that you are worthless and deranged. Stop taking any care of your personal surroundings. Spend plenty of time in your messy and slovenly environment. Sabotage your own best efforts and remember always, You Are A Bad Person. Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad!

Entire piece is here:

http://www.nationalcynical.com/thoughtconduit/news?id=557

credits

from Identity Crisis, released April 28, 2022
Trent Reznor; Phineas Narco

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The National Cynical Network San Jose, California

The National Cynical Network (NCN) is a long-running, SF Bay Area alternate programming media remix project. It originally consisted of a trio of SF Bay-Area based radio collage artists: Phineas Narco, Ronald Redball and Alexander T. Newport. NCN seeks to play *with* music , using sound, and video media samples in the process of media collage or 'mediage'. ... more

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